Anger as dog gets Rugby player poo on it’s paws

A WORRYING new craze is sweeping the area, with Rugby players defecating on their pitches at the end of games.

Rugby and Football fields, which are predominantly npp_image_300used by dog walkers, are becoming cesspools of human feces, a spokesperson for North Wales Police has said.

Robin Rhyddygthwyn from Cae Seren, Ruthin was walking his dog across the Ruthin Rugby Club pitch last week when he noticed his Great Dane’s paws were caked in a chocolaty surprise. When he stopped to look around, he noticed a group of Rugby players releasing their turtle’s heads on the other side of the pitch.

“The sound was astonishing,” said Robin. “You could hear them all squeezing, at first I thought it was just a choir singing in the distance, but they were really straining. I tried to shout and stop them, but they ran off.”

Residents of the area are being asked to remain vigilant and report any sightings of Rugby players pooping outside of their designated defecating pens to North Wales Police, who have commissioned a specialist task force to deal with the problem.

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Outrage as independent shops are found to be actually opening on time.

SMALL shops around Denbighshire are facing a public backlash, as residents are voicing concerns over the opening hours.

“Standing outside shops tutting and complaining to passers by is part of my morning ritual. What am I going to do now? Do they expect us to just go into these shops that are now opening on time? What am I going to complain about to the owner now?” asks Enid Spraucher, 67 from Denbigh.

This shop is open.

This shop is open.

The outcry comes as many shops are beginning to open and shut in accordance to their advertised times, and not the previous accepted norm of up to 1 hour either way.

Historically, part of the Denbighshire scene during the hours of 8-9am and 5-6pm is that of swathes of people, sprawled across the streets complaining that the shop they need is closed.

Many people are suffering withdrawal however. Andy Hickfarm of Trefnant said he has to now walk up to shop doors, try the handle, sigh and shake his head several times before even entering, in order to get his fix.

Shop owners have apologised.

“I’ve had to lock my door for 5 or 10 minutes after 9am and stand behind it cackling at my customers just so they can get some relief.” said the proprietor of a fruit & veg shop in Denbigh.

“Jeff Brimble”, said Jeff Brimble from Ruthin.