Kerry Katona to open new Rhyl Highschool by throwing a can of Special Brew at it.

CEREMONIAL launching of ships are celebrated by smashing a bottle of wine against the hull, and the opening of the new Rhyl High School promises takes that a step further culturally.

article-1336853-0234B1FA000005DC-596_468x326We couldn’t really understand what Katona was saying when we interviewed her over the phone, but it is understood that Carlsberg have sent the Atomic Kitten an entire case of Special Brew to practice with.

Rhyl Mayor Mellor said “We want to christen this school like they christen ships, but nowhere around here sells decent wine, so we popped into Bargain Booze and they were happy to sponsor the event.”

Carlsberg Special Brew is a popular beverage in the area, and many residents get their first taste at a young age when they leave teeth under their pillow for the tooth fairy, who in turn leaves a warm tinny instead of money.

The new high school building is set to be a state-of-the-art facility, complete with guards armed with tazers and a special “growing room” where students can┬álearn about hydroponics, a popular town export, and It’s understood that the old high school site will be fenced off and preserved after being fumigated.


Rhyl town centre awarded ‘Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty’

RESIDENTS rejoyce today as Rhyl town centre has been awarded the coveted title.

The decision comes after continual discoveries of new and previously unknown species of wildlife in the nearby White Rose Shopping Centre over the last 3 years, and the flourishing fauna around the clock roundabout.maxresdefault (2)

“We completed the survey last month and are very happy with the decision we’ve made. We hope the town will benefit as a whole, especially now that absolutely no more developments are allowed in the town centre.” said Dan Barkfield, regional director of the AONB consortium.

Now that future development can be officially halted, Denbighshire County Council have indicated that more money will be able to flow out of the town in order to modernise and develop the surrounding areas such as Prestatyn and Dyserth.