Denbighshire street lighting to be switched off after 10pm says Osborne Budget

THE entire county will be plunged into darkness during the winter months, with all street lighting being shut off after 10pm in order to save money.

budget2015George Osborne’s summer budget has stated that Denbighshire is a “waste of space” and that the estimated £15,000 per year saving will be better spent on posh dinners at downing street.

“For years we’ve been letting Denbighshire simply exist, drawing on our resources and contributing very little.” said a spokesperson for the Chancellor.

Residents will be given a 10 minute warning by way of old air sirens before the lights are shut off until 7am the following morning.

Camilla pours a pint with too much head in Llanarmon, goes mental, blames it on “Bloody colonials”

THE Prince of Wales & Camilla Parker-Bowles visited Llanarmon yesterday as part of their contractual “Best remind Wales we haven’t forgotten about them” tour, shortly before Camilla had a freak & violent public breakdown.

Camilla was whisked away after her outburst

Camilla was whisked away after her outburst

Residents and visitors crowded the tiny village as the royal couple came to badly pour pints of beer and not pay for them before leaving everyone with a sense of uncertainty as to why.

One local pub goer Roger Sempton, 59 had ordered a pint of Rumpy Tusk and was served by Camilla. He complained when the pint had far too much head on it.

Looking at Camilla, the manager of The Raven pub jokingly quipped “Sorry mate, just can’t get the staff these days”, which caused an immediate and violent reaction from the Dutchess.

Jumping on the bar and foaming at the mouth, witnesses say Camilla was red with anger, screaming “I f***ing own you, all of you! Bloody colonials!”

Sources close to the Royal Family say Camilla has been disciplined and has said she pinky promises not to do it again.