Coleen Rooney to purchase Prestatyn.

The wife of footballer Wayne Rooney a footballer famous for having a face as flat as a frying pan has revealed she intends to purchase Prestatyn.

The move comes after the columnist purchased a caravan in the seaside town, but hadn’t realised there was no million pound gate, driveway or gold encrusted taps.coleen-rooney-aintree-300-419483450

“I need something a little higher standard than a scummy shack on a beach resort, so I’m going to just buy the whole town. It’s nice, it could do with some work and the first thing we’ll do is move everyone out but once that’s done it should be quite nice.” she said.

Coleen, 29, said she planned to dip into her husbands fortune, earned by him chasing a ball around a field for the last several years to secure a deposit on the town as soon as possible.

Locals aren’t convinced however. Some have already begun barricading the various entrances to the town, with some chaining themselves to their own homes.

“I don’t care who she is. Prestatyn is my home and she can turf me out over my head body!” claimed Paul Shannon, a father of 9 who had just finished building a moat around his house.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s